To be honest, I struggled with this ebook. It is about spirituality without religion, the connection of consciousness and our brain (interesting the cases when people got removed something the brain hemispheres got disconnected), false gurus (you can apply this to many env in life: sport, work, etc), next-death-experiences, enlightenment and the use of psychedelics to open your mind.

This is an ebook about how to deal with life. Every person has its rules for living and I have read several book about rules so it is always interesting to see/read the different points of view from very different people.

This case is from a USA Seal and Admiral. Actually, I watched this video before buying the book. And hits your.

1- Start your day with a task completed: Make your bed to perfection. If you can’t make the little things right, you will never be able to do the big things right.

2- You can’t go it alone: You can’t paddle the boat (life) alone. Find someone to share your life with (struggling with this), make as many friends as possible (idem) and never forget that your success depends on others.

3- It’s not the size of your flippers that count, just the size of your heart matters: There is more in life that physical attributes.

4- Life is not fair, deal with it: The common people and the great men and women are all defined by how they deal with the life’s unfairness.

5- Failure can make you stronger: True leaders must learn from their failures, use the lessons to motivate themselves and not be afraid to try again or make the next tough decision (You will always make it to the Circus at some point)

6- You must date greatly: Without pushing your limits, without occasionally sliding down the rope headfirst, without daring greatly, you will never know what you are truly capable for.

7- Stand up to the bullies: Courage is within all of us. Dig deep.

8- Rise to the occasion: If you want to change the world, be your very best in the darkest moments.

9- Give people hope: If you want to change the world, start singing when you are up to your neck in mud. Like this. Lift up those around you and give them hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

10- Never, ever quit: This is the summary for all the above. If you refuse to give up on your dreams, stand tall and strong against the odds, then life will be what you make of it.

I decided to read this book after watching this video some months ago. As I am not able to make a move in my dating live… and it is nearly 6y. I know I am not going to discover the grail of dating but at least I can try to refresh ideas, find encouragement, you name it, to start the work.

The book is crystal clear. Get your shit together, know yourself, know what you want, know what you dont want, dont fall in some traps, etc.

One of the things that I have collected and stays with me so far, it is the importance of having a “tribe” a.k.a a social network. And maybe this is not the most important point in the book. Still, I have a very small tribe, they are few but they are the best. So I have to work in increase my social network, and that is not just good for dating.

Something I have been doing in the last months is going to Bachata social dancing on Wednesdays after class and Saturday nights. It is hard for me. It is getting out our my confort zone. But this is the only way to improve, and it is not just improving my bachata skills. It is being comfortable being uncomfortable, knowing that you may be rejected when asking for a dance, or dancing once with a person and that person will not want to dance with you (because I am not a good dancer) again. But step by step (literally) is getting a bit better. Still long way to go, but I must carry on. Sometimes I talk to people so it is good. I feel less weird in those moments because you are coming on your own (and I am not the only one) and looks like everybody is having a good time and socialising.

Chapter 1

Identify and understand your attachment style: I am fearful-avoidant. But I would like to be Secure.

The village/tribe concept: Until not long ago (maybe when online dating started), your dating pool was around your social circle. It can be a tribe, a village, your neighbourhood, work, sport, etc. And your close members of that tribe will want the best for your.

Be clear about your goal in the relationship: short-term, long-term, family, etc

Chapter 2

You have to know yourself, that means work on you and go through your traumas, problems, etc and heal. Then you can start dating properly, as you will have a better vision (less noise). Have an open mind and be a lifelong learner to be your best self.

Soulmates are made not found.

Chapter 3

1st Be happy with yourself + self awareness -> successful relationship

=>

Good relationship -> makes you happier/healthier

Chapter 4

We are living in a changing world so we have to adapt and find the best approach to find our partner. And that includes online dating

Chapter 5

This is basic statistics and probability. The more people you can meet, the more chances you will have to find a partner. This is your job. And way to increase your social reach is using “those” weak connections (a friend you dont see often, a place, etc)

Chapter 6

Say what you want, be intentional. First impressions are important so make a strong one (I am going to struggle here). Work in your “social capital”: identify the things in your life you are passionate about and work towards becoming exceptional at them, and the important thing, it is not the goal, it is the journey.

Chapter 7: Green Flags

What you want and what you need are not the same. This applies to dating too. So make rational decisions about the criteria for your partner. There is a reference to Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages“. It is important to identify them, and they dont have to match. But they are not all.

Green Flags:

• Emotional Fitness

• Courageous Vision:

• Resilient Resourcefulness:

• Open-minded Understanding:

• Compassionate Support

Summary here: Choose someone who matches your values, who will challenge you to grow and has the character to be for the good and bad times.

Chapter 8: Red Flags

Value your self-worth and refuse to settle for anything less than you deserve. That means you have to be very honest with your self and do the work.

Read Flags: Narcissism, Psychopathy, Machiavellianism and Sadism

Chapter 9: Commitment

Four elements of commitment readiness: trust, effective conflict resolution, high relationship satisfaction and not thinking there are better options available (you will be forever in the “game”)

Three things to make a relationship to work in the long term:

• No Defensiveness, No Stonewalling, No Criticism, No Contempt
• Relationship equity
• Feeling your are becoming better, your best self

And you need to talk about all the above with your partner -> that means assertiveness and courage.

I finished the second part of The Three-Body Problem. It has hooked me again until the end. To be picky, how the hibernation was figured out? 🙂 And it is clear that being limited by the Sophons had to have an impact…

I liked the two axioms for cosmic civilization: 1) survival is the primary need of civilization 2) civilization continuosly grows and expands, but the total matter in the universe remains constant (that reminds me to you can’t destroy energy, just transform it). Plus “benevolence” and “malice”. You have all the tools now to survive in the dark forest that is the galaxy 🙂

And love. That came out of the blue.

I bought this course and completed it two months ago more or less. I am using the basic for my normal reading, although I should repeat it at some point to verify my improvement.

DAY 0

FAST
F=Forget (old habits, limitations)
A=Active (motivation, schedule)
S=State (be present, mood)
T=Teach (teach, your learn twice)

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DAY 1: Finding Your Starting Place

• consistent -> schedule it! create a habit: when you most awake and less distraction. 1st thing in morning? 10 minutes only!

WPM: 190

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DAY 2

education
focus (if information gets quick enugh, your brain doesnt distract
regression (re-reading)s -> avoid it, creates momemtun!

• visual pacer !!! -> something to underlay the words! finger or ruler
  • help to focus
  • eyes attract to movement
  • neurologic (smell + taste // seight + touch )

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DAY 3

how to use a visual pacer:

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DAY 4

move arm, not finger
upright posture (proper breathing) – tilt the book – face the book

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DAY 5

mind over matter

indentation reading: start about an inch in and stop about an inch before the end.

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DAY 6

eye health:
relax your eye muscles and activate both your left and right brain. I call this technique, a “lazy-8” or an “infinity technique.”: 1 minute before readings

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DAY 7

read a book a week: 45m reading nornal -> 30m speeding read ?

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DAY 8

subvocalization – Do you often hear your voice reading along with you?
-> “123 Technique” say 123 while you are reading –> keep in mind it is impossible to stop it.

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DAY 9

using your left hand as the ruler!

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DAY 10

speed drill: 4-3-2-1 (need to do it again!)

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DAY 11

activating peripheral vision -> learn to juggle 3 balls (youtube)

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DAY 12

boasting comprehension: read
finger
better questions -> your questions makes you on focus in x (questions are the answers)
(who, what, where, when, why)

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DAY 13

FAQ: read everyday! 15 minutes (use finger, indentation, lazy eight, left hand)
4321 – 3 times per week
questions: 5-9 before reading
flexible speed reading
small habits, long result

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DAY 14

boosting comprehension p2-> taking notes:

• capture (left side: notes – logical) – create (right side: your impressions)
• mind mapping
• quadrants

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DAY 15

boosting comprehension p3 -> relate

• explain what you read to somebody: (1st buddy, 2nd call a friend, 3rd plant) – Externalize, speak aloud (dont talk to yourself!)

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DAY 16

the importance of brain breaks
more primancy (first) and more recency (last)
each 30 minutes, 5 minutes brain break (10x deep breath, hidrate, stretch/move)

What is the primary response of your brain? Controlling movement.
super brain yoga:
left hand, touch your right ear
right hand, touch your left ear
sit ups at the same time

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DAY 17

the power of reading backwards p1

• skimming and then reading
  — Always use a visual pacer.
  — You can either go down the center of a page (traditional “speed reading”) or
  — You can also do a zig-zag method.
  ** The last and my favorite method of skimming is going one line forward and one line backwards.
  (left to right, next line right to left, etc etc) has to be quick! – creates confusion and question

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DAY 18

introducing eye fixations

• Average reader sees one word at a time.
• Kwik Reader sees groups of words -> Eye Fixations: you need to see groups of words. start with some warm-up exercises to activate your peripheral vision 🙂
  • devide the page with one line. You have to parts, the divide each again.
    You will have four parts and 3 lines. You will stop only in the lines so you fixation will be three instead of the 10 average stops per line.

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DAY 19

reading technical information

• you won’t be able to read at the speed you would read light fiction

Step #1: Build a Map (5-Part Map Building Process)

• Look at the pictures
• Spot unfamiliar words
• Ask 5-9 questions: (who, what, where, when, why)
• Organize the chapter: check the table of contents or index -> build a mind map (or quadrant)
• Visualize

Step #2: Skim through the chapter

Step #3: Read the chapter

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DAY 20

5 levels of transformation

• Environment (level 5)
• Behavior (level 4)
• Capability (level 3)
• Beliefs & values (level 2)
• Identity (level 1)

Level 1 Who – identity
Level 2 Why – beliefs and values
Level 3 How – capabilities
Level 4 What – behaviour
Level 5 Where & When – environment

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DAY 21

Building a reading habit

B=MAT

B = Behavior/Habit. Pick a behavior you would like to incorporate.
M = Motivation. Give a score to your motivation. – I am 8, so what I need to get 10 — book time for reading everyday at work (lunch time) and weekend.
A = Ability. How can you increase the ability?
T = Trigger. What reminds you to do the behavior? -> book time in calendar / bring book to office the